I've written many post about the perfection that is Paris... but in reality, Paris is not perfect. It has it's flaws and it's share of strange characters just like any other diverse city. I've decided that today, we will depart from the Perfect Paris, and I will describe for you the first of two events Scott and I experienced... it might disturb you, it
might will gross you out... but I feel I must tell it. The truth is always more interesting than perfection, don't you think? If you are easily offended, move on to another blog... now...
you have been warned...
Perhaps some of you remember this video (click here). It was exactly as you see it... a PERFECT day, in a PERFECT square, with PERFECT weather. This square is located right near here...
After filming that short video, we sat leisurely for over an hour people watching. About 20 yards from us in the middle of the sun dappled square, I noticed a rather drunk, very dirty man sitting on a bench. He was talking to no one in particular, and had an extra large beer in his hand that he waved around as he talked and weaved back and forth rather precariously. Most everyone that walked past him, ignored him. One man sat at the other end of the bench, never making eye contact. The drunk man tried over and over to engage him in conversation, but the man stared straight ahead, never flinched, and left after a few minutes.
Soon the drunk man dropped his can of beer and it rolled over the cobblestones, and stopped maybe 5 feet away... I saw 'dilemma' written all over his face. He absolutely would not stand up, so as people passed, he begged them to pick up his beer... finally someone did, and he continued drinking. Now mind you, this guy is all smiles and having a grand time. He wasn't loud, and without keen observation, you might miss him altogether. Scott had his back to the man, so periodically, I would fill him in on the happenings, or he would turn and take a quick peek.
Next, the man decided he needed a cigarette. He watched carefully as people passed. Finally, one very chic couple walked by, he got their attention, and the very well dressed man handed him a cigarette, and even lit it for him! He was one happy camper.
Now.. the main event... drunk man leaned back a little on the bench. I thought he was fiddling with his beer can. All of the sudden he began spewing beer all over the place. It went maybe 5 ft straight up in the air, arced over, splashing down on the ground around him. I started laughing and Scott turned to look. He turned back to me, and said,
"Teri, that is not beer... he's taking a LEAK."
I sat there, stunned, in absolute horror. I am not exaggerating when I tell you this lasted over a minute straight! How could we be sure it wasn't beer??? Because we could CLEARLY see the instrument from which the spray was coming!!!! I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry!!! I was in shock. Scott's comment?
"Wow, I wish I still had that kind of back-pressure!"
Life went on around him... talk about a country where everyone minds their own business! When he finished, he put his instrument away. There was a HUGE wet spot about 5 feet around him. It sunk between the cobblestones quickly, but as moms and dads and children with their rolling backpacks walked through it, well... it was more than I could take. We had to leave. It was so unsettling.
Scott turned to me as we walked off and said,
"Teri, you aren't in Kansas anymore!"