Sitting here at the cancer center. I just asked Scott a question... "Do you think everyone in this room has cancer?". He looks at me, in that way he has that leads me to believe he thinks I am missing some brain cells, and he says, "Yes." I hate those one word answers... and he is famous for them. He sits next to me, reading his Kindle. I'm embarrassed to say that I have bogarted the iPad since we got here.
The TV is blaring. It's on CNN and they are broadcasting a court appearance for someone named Snooki. Evidently, she is on a reality show called Jersey Shores, got drunk on a beach, and created all sorts of mayhem. Listen... I was able to let go of my reality watching TV days the day The Hills ended... about a month ago...
wait... does The Rachel Zoe Project count?
I'm joking around with you because I'm here, in this Middle Place. The place between everything is fine and everything is horrible. It's a weird place, sorta like Wonderland... "I wonder if the cancer has spread? I wonder if this nightmare will be over soon? I wonder if Scott will get really sick like some of the people in this room?"
We are so lucky. So many people have called, emailed, and texted to check on us. We have the Lord, we have each other, we have it all...
If you haven't read the book The Middle Place, I highly recommend it. It's a fabulous book written by a woman (Kelly Corrigan) who gets breast cancer at a young age. The book is soooooo good. If I ever write a book, this is the flavor I want mine to have... the feel... she captures just the right blend of seriousness, and hilarity. She is able to get down on paper what everyone is thinking, but are afraid to say.
I started rereading it last night for the fourth time in 2 yrs. I remembered her Dad got cancer as well, but not the details. Imagine my shock, when I read at about 1am, that he had prostate cancer (what my husband has) and that in the book, it SPREADS!
I was not even believing it... seemed a little too close for comfort.
I was forced to put it down, and mercifully fell right to sleep.
Scott's name was just called. He turned and said to me, "Off to the gallows."
3 days ago