Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I'm Back...or am I?


Well friends... I don't know if anyone noticed, but I've been in a self-imposed exile for awhile. I want my blog to be uplifting, and while good things continue to happen in my life... some not so good things have happened too.

I have not been in a mood to blog without it sounding... well... depressing... and I refuse to make this a place that doesn't make you at least 'crack a smile.'

I'll try to say in a few words what I've been going through... I've had
a sudden and unexplained bout with migraine headaches... the first in my entire life (they thought I had a mini stroke at first... but CT scan and MRI showed nothing). I've also had total and complete insomnia... and I don't mean the kind that comes from worry or anxiety, it's the kind of insomnia that says..."I'm awake, now what?" It not only makes me cranky, but I'm also aging before my eyes! I have also not been myself in mind or body. I was out to dinner the other night with friends, and I felt like I was having an out of body experience. It was like I was there, but I was watching myself have dinner from a distance. It's funny, my husband and I will have an entire conversation, and suddenly I realize, I haven't heard a word he's said... and worse... I haven't heard a word I've said!

Is all this because I turned 50??? I wonder....

The other day I was reading a magazine my mother-in-law kindly brought me because it had an article on Paris in it. When I turned to this page... I laughed OUT LOUD. Not only does this show the French in rare form... or should I say "regular" form... but it looks like I've been feeling lately. Superimpose my face on either woman, and there you have it... the way I've felt lately when ANYone, ANYwhere, asks me to do ANYthing!



(The phone rings...) "do you really expect me to answer that?"
(It's 6pm...) "dinner... what's that?... if I'm not hungry, I don't know why you are."
(It's 2am...) "this isn't too late to be watching TV darling, and yes, I know you have to get up in the morning...what can I say?"
(A friend asks if I can help with a project...) "seriously? you've got to be kidding!!"
(Someone at church wants me to commit to something in the fall... )"I could be crazy by fall! Are you sure you want me? If you only knew how weird I'm feeling, you wouldn't ask me... gotta go now... I feel a breakdown coming on..."
(Mom asks me if I want to take a trip to Washington D.C...) "I don't know if I can take a trip across town, and you want me to go to Washington D.C.?"
(Husband comes home from work...)"Darling... from now on, our TV cannot be on the news at all, and also... could you be a dear and get the mail everyday, and screen it for bad news before you hand it to me? And sweetheart, whatever you do, don't mention our retirement account, or the economy. I just got finished cleaning my rose colored glasses, and I don't want you to fog them up. Oh... I hung twinkle lights and spread fairy dust around the house today... try and go with it... okay?"
(my words in red)


Luckily, I've come up with a plan to deal with all this, that doesn't include moving to a desert island... afterall... wherever I go, I take me with me!

more to come girls... more to come...

~Teri

Photo...National Geographic Traveler-July/Aug 2010 pgs 72-73.
Photographic team of Sisse Brimberg and Cotton Coulson.



15 comments:

A Tale of Two Cities said...

Teri,
I am so very, very glad to hear from you. I've missed you and hoped all was well. Friend, it sounds like you are sorting out the stress in your life, and looking for some glimmer of hope and humor along the way. I adored your running conversation--oh how, I can hear myself in some of those words! Please know how much you are loved and missed--hope everything gets sorted out very soon--keep us posted as to how we can help through all of this! Are you still coming to London in the fall?

Debi

myletterstoemily said...

mission accomplished! you made me smile.

you have been sorely missed, and i'm so
sorry about the headaches and insomnia.

i have had the same trouble but my dr.
and i have found a pretty great solution.

if you're interested, please shoot me an
email. lea.helmerich@gmail.com

life is sooooo much better now.

blessings,
lea

myletterstoemily said...

mission accomplished! you made me smile.

you have been sorely missed, and i'm so
sorry about the headaches and insomnia.

i have had the same trouble but my dr.
and i have found a pretty great solution.

if you're interested, please shoot me an
email. lea.helmerich@gmail.com

life is sooooo much better now.

blessings,
lea

hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Oh my, that's not any fun at all...
Could it be...Menopause?
Treading lightly here...I have had some issues around insomnia, and light headedness, mood swings etc...all attributed to the change of life.

I did massage, Yoga, bathed in salts to relax and detox, ate chocolate, avoided caffeine and was very kind to myself.

Hope things improve...take care,
Hugs,
XO

Girl Meets Paris said...

Thanks all...

Debi... still going to Paris the last week of Sept. Haven't decided if we will take the train to London or not.
Lea... I will email you... thanks!
Hostess... I HOPE it's menopause, I would love to officially end my child bearing years... ha ha.

You all make me smile as I'm slowing catching up on reading your blogs.

Teri

Vava (aka Virginia) said...

I am SO glad you're back no matter your mindset. Like Lea...don't want to rush "things" BUT since I am 5 years older....menopause could be the culprit. Keep us posted and you DID put a smile on my face!!!
xoxo

Natasha said...

Welcome back Teri! We have missed you! I am glad to hear that you are feeling a little better-sounds like the last few weeks have been horrible. It also sounds like you have already received some wonderful snippets of advice...I will just stay quiet and hope that your happy posts keep coming-I love them!

Best wishes always,
Natasha.

Kimmy said...

I sincerely hope you begin to start feeling better.
I am only 44 and have these feelings myself sometimes.
I am sure there is light at the end of the tunnel..now which tunnel is a whole other talk show! :-)

Jenny said...

Teri! Love the picture of the French women and understand your blog exile when you are feeling out of sorts/not yourself, but as you can see you have been missed. I am praying for you and thank you for the honesty, the humor and updating us. In Him, Jenny

Barb said...

I'm glad you're back! Please know you're not alone on this little roller cloaster. My friends and I have compared notes, and we're pretty sure it's menopause having a laugh at our expense. Hang in there! I've heard primrose oil/extract helps, but haven't tried it yet. -Barb at Coronado Daily Photo

kath@retromantic antiques said...

You are still funny so hang in there. I too think it sounds like menopause. I thought I was going crazy....Still have days (actually weeks) but acupuncture helped me with the sleep issues. Our poor husbands,right?lol

kath

*The Beautiful Life* said...

Teri!

You poor thing!!! I've actually wondered if everything was okay -- I noticed something "off" the last few times in class... Honey -- I know whatcha mean about this... I don't have migraines or sleeplessness (my sleeplessness is self-imposed cuz there ain't enough hours in the day). :)

You should message LIbby on FB -- she's been though ALL this!!! :)

Love ya, gal.

Rurh

JBeaudetStudios said...

Hi Teri,
It's great to see you back but I'm sorry about what you've been going through. I can relate, even though I'm 40. I've started to have many of your same symptoms. My mom went through menopause early so I think that's what it is; at least I hope. Anyway your post cracked me up! You are so funny! Take care! I've really missed you on here! Jennifer:)

High Heeled Life said...

Oh my dearest, you and your words have really been missed, I kept checkingto see if you had posted anything.

I sorry you are going through this, hopefully they will identify the source. I experience some of these things - but my is due to the accident - I can relate to have scary it all is.

I loved your post, especially the dialogue part ... I was smiling... HHL

Deanne said...

Terita,

You have ALWAYS made me smile! I laugh even when you aren't here!

Wow - now instead of sitting around feeling bad it looks like you can fill your time with acupuncture, massages, oils, creams, yoga, bath salts, detox plans, secret potions, evening primrose... my sis-in-law has done all of this same stuff, too! I guess we girls gotta do what we gotta do! I'm right around the corner from you!

Seriously, I will keep praying for you. It all sounds just so uncomfortable! Go sit in the pool!

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