Thursday, November 18, 2010

Update



So... I'm finally ready to give you all an update on our lives.  It's so weird how life can change so quickly.  I'm breaking my 2 min. post rule... you've been warned.

I decided when I started this blog it was just to talk about Paris, and to hopefully be uplifting and inspiring in whatever way comes out.  I also decided I would stay away from the big two... R and P (religion and politics).  I promise I won't get into politics... there's enough of that on TV already... and I won't get into religion.  Religion is just a preference... as in "what religion are you?"  But what I cannot even begin to get away from is telling you how God has worked in our lives thus far... with this very unexpected turn of events.  Talk about inspiring!!!!!!

Scott was diagnosed over 2 years ago with prostate cancer... did the treatment... done deal... glad that's over. 

 But here we sit, with a reoccurrence.  Hold on there missy... this is not the special club I wanted an invitation to.  I wanted to be in the "I beat cancer and never heard another peep from it again" club! But that was not to be. 

So we decided to go the second opinion route, after all, the first treatment certainly didn't cure him.  We had a long phone consultation with a new doctor Monday night, after he reviewed all of Scott's records, biopsies, tests, labs, etc.  The news was not good. In his exact words... 
"This is Scott's last ditch effort.  We need to throw everything we've got at this." 
 Oh, and how about this one, 
"I feel certain this cancer has spread in microscopic amounts."

HOW'S THAT???? What do you even do with that?  He wasn't alarming in his presentation, just honest.  Well... you can only imagine the conversation we had that night!  It was more than upsetting.  I went to bed in a fog and woke up in a fog.  I couldn't pray at all, and hadn't been able to in a couple weeks really.  There were just no words, and I felt like my Heavenly Father was a million miles away.  Feelings can be quite deceiving!  It wasn't that I thought He really abandoned me, my faith told me that would never happen, but it FELT like I couldn't communicate like I always had.  I wasn't angry or mad... just confused and sad beyond anything I had ever experienced.

For the past few weeks, I have been the absolute Google queen.  Ask me anything about P. cancer... I got my PhD by way of computer (and yes, I only stuck to reputable sites). Some people told me to stop, but for some reason, I couldn't.  I also checked out books from the library.  I was a walking talking encyclopedia of information.  I guess it was my way of coping.


This is the binder I made for all the paperwork...there's another, thicker one for bills and insurance stuff...every cancer patient needs a secretary. My children will laugh at this because I never allowed 'that word' to be said in my house... times change :)

So Tuesday was spent setting up new appointments, verifying insurance, blah, blah, blah. I was mentally exhausted. I woke up Wednesday, still in the fog, and decided to just stop all the research until we see the new Dr. in person. 
 But... there was still more to know... there was mention of a couple drugs Scott might have to go on... must Google side effects... then I'll stop.  "Something" told me to also write down any questions I might have.  If they are down on paper, I wouldn't forget them, and I can sorta quit thinking about them.  So I spent one more hour at the computer.  I wrote down all I found about the drugs and side-effects, wrote down my questions, and closed the notebook.  This would all have to wait until December.  

THEN... miracle... the phone rang.  It was the nurse practitioner at the new office... "Hi Mrs. _______ do you have any questions about anything???"  I had to LAUGH.  Little did she know!  I opened my notebook, and fired away.  By the time we were finished, I felt the weight of the world was off my shoulders.  Seriously... it was amazing.  Can't even describe the timing... how God comes through when you are at such a low point to say, 
"I'm HERE, and I HEAR you."

I called Scott, shared all the concerns we had along with answers, and of course we had to meet for lunch to celebrate.  The cancer was still there, but the road map was set.  We felt so much better.

But there's more... last night Scott went out to get the mail, and there was a package from a complete stranger (sent via a great new friend I have that is going through cancer as we speak).  It was the sweetest thing ever!!! 
 I haven't even had time to write her a note, but I wanted to share what she sent Scott and I...


I just looked up her blog... she's a blogger of course!  Please go by and visit her @

I will be sitting in bed with my Scott's iPad tonight, reading every word.

So... there's my long update.  I have a few blogposts in waiting, and will send them along once or twice a week.  I miss reading your blogs... I'm sure they are much more fun than what I've been reading.  I will get back to commenting soon!

~Teri

P.S. I did not go into specifics about what treatments Scott did or did not do.  Everyone is an individual, and unique.  I never want to influence anyone in what they, or someone they know, should or should not do.  If anyone wants to ask any specific questions, my email is always open!

14 comments:

Girl Meets Paris said...

I have to comment that my 16 yr. old just walked by and saw the notebook. Her mouth fell open and she stood and stared at me. It was so funny. I felt a little guilty... almost ;0 Then she started lecturing me...I'm sure she's going to try and use that word one day, just to see what I'll do!

Jenny said...

The binder is great. I am sure those three rings are holding things together in God's hand better than y'all's running minds can. I am casting out prayers for y'all too and all the beyond lovely and loving people like Ruthie that God brings along your path. Thank you for sharing this time with us. Tell Scott we send love and prayers his way.

Ruthie said...

Hey you. So glad we met - even it was by way of cancer. Please share with all of your followers that the "can't do cancer without God" necklaces are free - I'd be happy to send one to anyone who would like one. Just ask them to email me.

So glad that you and Scott can walk this journey together, holding God's hand all the way.

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."

In His Service,
Ruthie
ruthiesgift.blogspot.com

mya said...

Your faith in God, your love for each other, and the love from your family, friends and new acquaintances along this path will be your strength. This is a terrible scary time for your entire family, but God will be there, the whole way. He understands more than anyone else about any fear, anger, hurt, frustration, or sadness that you might experience.
You have many people praying for Scott, you and your family.

High Heeled Life said...

Teri.. thank you for your beautiful words in your post. They are a wonderful reminder that though we may feel alone - we are not. Ruthie is a gift to you from God, letting you know he is there and he will always be there.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. xo HHL

LuLu said...

I will be praying for Scott and you. May he guide and protect you both during this. sending you much love,
xo,
LuLu

Cathi said...

Sending much love and prayer to you & Scott and your family. xxoo

A Tale of Two Cities said...

Teri,
I'm so glad you have updated us so we can be very specific in how we pray. You know God understands when we can't put into words what is on our hearts in times of trial. That is when the Holy Spirit intercedes for us on our behalf. The words will come and in the meantime, isn't Ruthie's gift a blessing just when it was most needed? I hope to look her way soon.

So thankful for your honesty and trust in all of us. Tell Scott we are praying for him,
Debi

Kelly said...

That's my girl! I hear your faith and confidence in the Lord who holds you in the palm of His mighty hand coming through the last part of your post. This verse came to mind:

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body. – 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Praying for you, that as you walk through this valley, you'll have light for the next step in faith...and for the one after that...and so on. He's got hold of you, girl! Love you!!

Anonymous said...

Hello Teri and Scott,
My heart goes out to you at this time. I have enjoyed reading your blog and seeing your wonderful journey. You two are so special and don't deserve this test of your love and faith again. All of my best wishes for strength, guidance and humor during these trying times.
Sincerely,k

JBeaudetStudios said...

Hi Teri,
Thank you so much for taking your time to give us an update. You are both in my prayers and I wish I could do more.
Big hugs,
Jennifer

Facing50Blog.com said...

Hi! I visited your blog because of its title....I am a complete francopohile and lived in Paris for a long time. However I read your post and sat agog. I am sending you both my heartfelt sincerest wishes send you all the karma I can. (I practise Rieki so I will attempt to send some to you)
Carol

Vava (aka Virginia) said...

Terry....somehow I missed this post and it's DAYS later. You amaze me. Your sound mind. The binder. God does have hold of you; although at times I know it must feel He's hard to grasp. Your blog, story, faith are a blessing to many of us! I shall pray for you & Scott!!! xoxo

myletterstoemily said...

dear teri,

i don't know how i missed this! i've tried
to keep current. my prayer is that all
these treatments WORK and you continue
to feel His peace.

love,
lea

ps. hailey is home from brazil, PTL!

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