So... I'm finally ready to give you all an update on our lives. It's so weird how life can change so quickly. I'm breaking my 2 min. post rule... you've been warned.
I decided when I started this blog it was just to talk about Paris, and to hopefully be uplifting and inspiring in whatever way comes out. I also decided I would stay away from the big two... R and P (religion and politics). I promise I won't get into politics... there's enough of that on TV already... and I won't get into religion. Religion is just a preference... as in "what religion are you?" But what I cannot even begin to get away from is telling you how God has worked in our lives thus far... with this very unexpected turn of events. Talk about inspiring!!!!!!
Scott was diagnosed over 2 years ago with prostate cancer... did the treatment... done deal... glad that's over.
But here we sit, with a reoccurrence. Hold on there missy... this is not the special club I wanted an invitation to. I wanted to be in the "I beat cancer and never heard another peep from it again" club! But that was not to be.
So we decided to go the second opinion route, after all, the first treatment certainly didn't cure him. We had a long phone consultation with a new doctor Monday night, after he reviewed all of Scott's records, biopsies, tests, labs, etc. The news was not good. In his exact words...
"This is Scott's last ditch effort. We need to throw everything we've got at this."
Oh, and how about this one,
"I feel certain this cancer has spread in microscopic amounts."
HOW'S THAT???? What do you even do with that? He wasn't alarming in his presentation, just honest. Well... you can only imagine the conversation we had that night! It was more than upsetting. I went to bed in a fog and woke up in a fog. I couldn't pray at all, and hadn't been able to in a couple weeks really. There were just no words, and I felt like my Heavenly Father was a million miles away. Feelings can be quite deceiving! It wasn't that I thought He really abandoned me, my faith told me that would never happen, but it FELT like I couldn't communicate like I always had. I wasn't angry or mad... just confused and sad beyond anything I had ever experienced.
For the past few weeks, I have been the absolute Google queen. Ask me anything about P. cancer... I got my PhD by way of computer (and yes, I only stuck to reputable sites). Some people told me to stop, but for some reason, I couldn't. I also checked out books from the library. I was a walking talking encyclopedia of information. I guess it was my way of coping.
This is the binder I made for all the paperwork...there's another, thicker one for bills and insurance stuff...every cancer patient needs a secretary. My children will laugh at this because I never allowed 'that word' to be said in my house... times change :)
So Tuesday was spent setting up new appointments, verifying insurance, blah, blah, blah. I was mentally exhausted. I woke up Wednesday, still in the fog, and decided to just stop all the research until we see the new Dr. in person.
But... there was still more to know... there was mention of a couple drugs Scott might have to go on... must Google side effects... then I'll stop. "Something" told me to also write down any questions I might have. If they are down on paper, I wouldn't forget them, and I can sorta quit thinking about them. So I spent one more hour at the computer. I wrote down all I found about the drugs and side-effects, wrote down my questions, and closed the notebook. This would all have to wait until December.
THEN... miracle... the phone rang. It was the nurse practitioner at the new office... "Hi Mrs. _______ do you have any questions about anything???" I had to LAUGH. Little did she know! I opened my notebook, and fired away. By the time we were finished, I felt the weight of the world was off my shoulders. Seriously... it was amazing. Can't even describe the timing... how God comes through when you are at such a low point to say,
"I'm HERE, and I HEAR you."
I called Scott, shared all the concerns we had along with answers, and of course we had to meet for lunch to celebrate. The cancer was still there, but the road map was set. We felt so much better.
But there's more... last night Scott went out to get the mail, and there was a package from a complete stranger (sent via a great new friend I have that is going through cancer as we speak). It was the sweetest thing ever!!!
I haven't even had time to write her a note, but I wanted to share what she sent Scott and I...
I just looked up her blog... she's a blogger of course! Please go by and visit her @
I will be sitting in bed with
my Scott's iPad tonight, reading every word.
So... there's my long update. I have a few blogposts in waiting, and will send them along once or twice a week. I miss reading your blogs... I'm sure they are much more fun than what I've been reading. I will get back to commenting soon!
P.S. I did not go into specifics about what treatments Scott did or did not do. Everyone is an individual, and unique. I never want to influence anyone in what they, or someone they know, should or should not do. If anyone wants to ask any specific questions, my email is always open!